The sentence that stopped me in my tracks
A few days ago, I had the most pleasant surprise while chatting with my son’s teacher (we will call my son Charles) at a parent-teacher conference. With one simple sentence, basically mentioned as an afterthought, she casually informed me that one of my dearest wishes had been granted.
She told me about the usual stuff: his academic performance, behavior, how he was doing making friends, and then, as an aside, she said,
“And he loves to read.”
In that one moment, I was transported in a time machine to two years ago.
Charles had just learned to read and was actually getting quite good at it. I was so excited. We had always read a lot as a family, but this, THIS could be the moment where he could turn the key to the door of the world of books and unlock all the beauty, goodness, knowledge, and pure delight for himself!
But alas, while he enjoyed being read to, he showed very little interest in reading on his own. He didn’t ever typically even initiate listening to an audiobook, even though he had a Yoto player with lots of great book choices.
I remember being stung with the sad thought that he might be a kid who simply does not enjoy reading, and I’d have to get over that. It would be okay.
But that reality was hard to grapple with! One of the greatest gifts my own mom ever gave me was nurturing my love of reading. That legacy blesses my life every single day, and I always wanted to pay that forward with my own children someday!
So when Charles seemed so uninterested in books, part of me felt like a failure. And I was bummed that books might not be a fun thing we had in common as he grew older.
But THEN… his teacher had said “…and he loves to read.” And I was even more surprised to realize that I wasn’t actually surprised by that revelation.
Because in the last couple of years, I had taken some very small steps with Charlie in his reading journey, and he had accepted them.
And these small actions had compounded, rolling and compacting like a snowball turning into a snow boulder, to bring us to this very moment in which I was being told that my son LOVES to read.
And so, friend, if you are disheartened or discouraged because your child has a meh relationship with books or zero interest in reading, I want to offer some hope and encouragement and share what I believe worked best with my own kids.
My hope is that at least one of these ideas will not only get your kids excited about reading, but will get you excited about getting your kids excited about reading. (You can tell ChatGPT didn’t write this because it never would have phrased it that way, hee hee.)
But here’s a caveat, and it’s a big one, okay?! Some kids won’t like books no matter what you do. You’re not a failure. Some kids just don’t like the written word, and that’s okay.
But I DO think there are far fewer kids in that boat than it seems. And so, just because your kid says they “hate reading,” I wouldn’t take that at face value, even if they are a teenager.
Because often they don’t understand what “reading” truly is, and all it looks like to them is boredom, difficulty, and homework. They don’t understand that they can read books purely for the fun of it. And the books they choose can greet them at whatever reading level they land on.
And as a parent, there is much in our circle of influence to turn reading into something our kids will not only tolerate, but one day enjoy! And we can strive to understand our children’s tastes and personalities well enough to be able to put something in their hands that will meet them where they are, incentivize them to read it, and help make it fun!
And in case this gives you hope, my baby brother did not like reading as a kid. It had been hard for him to learn, and his natural talents were in the athletic realm. But he had an awesome literature teacher in high school, and as a young adult, he fell in love with it and now is as passionate about reading as anyone I know. He’s a record-holding powerlifter, and he regularly reads classic literature for fun. I’m not kidding.
And so, without further fuss, here are all the things I tried to lay kindling, wood, and oil so that when and if my son decided to light a match, a love for reading would ignite!
1) I made kid-friendly audiobooks a part of normal life
I got Charles a Yoto Mini audiobook player when he was four years old. He wasn’t very interested in it, but I kept turning it on for him and quietly placing it next to him during quiet time, while he was eating lunch, etc.
He rarely would seek it out on his own at first, but when it was on, he would get into it!
He was really into Star Wars, and so I stocked up on re-tellings of the movies, 5 minute Star Wars stories, etc.
I also found a lot of success with audiobooks that were adaptations from Disney movies like Monsters Inc, Beauty and the Beast, and Aladdin. This would have made me cringe when I was younger and less wise because they aren’t peak “literature,” but they were great because the movie would be playing in Charlie’s mind while he listened to the book narrate it. At least, that’s what was playing in my head, so I’m assuming that was his experience as well!
I’ve never owned a Toniebox myself, and I know many parents love them, but several parents I know who own a Toniebox later bought a Yoto Mini for several reasons: transportability (I literally bring the Yoto on every road trip), the fun icons that change for each chapter, and the fact that you can make your own audiobook cards easily and on the cheap! For travel, I also like the Yoto because my kids can control it for themselves. They also loved seeing the little icons pictures that change with each chapter, and there is no way for them to access the internet.
But I’m getting carried away. I promise this is not a Yoto commercial. You definitely don’t have to use one to get your kids listening to audiobooks! You can simply use a Bluetooth speaker and connect it to your phone, of course, or a laptop/tablet if you want to be able to use your phone while your kids listen.
Snag some audiobooks through Libby (free), Hoopla, Spotify, Libro.fm (there are always good deals), Audible, etc., and you’re good to go!
2) Bedtime reading
My husband and I read with our kids pretty much every single night, even if it’s late.
I know that sounds crazy, but it helps them wind down. It also builds in a pause for us (even if I’m reading as fast as I know how) and gives our kids a chance to connect with us if they need us, even if it’s just brief.
Parents have told me that bedtime reading has been a major success for them because the alternative is not something super stimulating like playing video games… it’s sleep!
3) Afternoon tea
I believe my reading routine with my kids, or “afternoon tea,” as a friend suggested I call it (and I LOVE that), has probably made the biggest difference in helping me raise kids who love to read. I have a FULL, comprehensive post detailing step by step how I do it, with suggestions to adapt it to your own family, here.
Basically, after school each day, I sit down with my kids, and we all have a snack while I read them a scripture story, a manner from Brooke Romney’s 52 Modern Manners for Kids, and then a fun book.
When they were little, I would grab a stack of picture books (often from the library because I was dying for variety). Lately, we’ve been reading chapter books.
My kids’ recent favorites include The Christmas Pig by J.K. Rowling, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, and The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. Sometimes the audiobook narrators are simply fantastic, and so instead, we will listen to an audiobook together instead of me reading to them, which brings me to…
4) Finding page-turners to read or listen to together!
My kids and I listened to the full-cast Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets together, and they are gripping AND a delight! They are also books I (as an adult) love listening to!
In the beginning, I had to talk them into listening to Harry Potter with me because it took a second for them to get into it, but then they were HOOKED. And is there anything better than watching your kids love something as much as you did when you were a kid?!
We are currently listening to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and we all love to listen to it together whenever we can: on the way to ballet lessons, during the last 20 minutes of dinner when my husband and I are done eating but the kids are taking forever to eat their vegetables, while we are putting on pajamas and brushing teeth, etc.
And THEN, after each book is finished, we watch the movie! This experience of coupling the book with the movie adaptation has been SO fun, not only for the kids, but for my husband and me to watch the kids watching the movies, seeing different parts take shape, and seeing how it compares to their imagination of the books.
Obviously, as a parent, use your discretion to determine what is age-appropriate for your kids. After we finish the third Harry Potter, we will probably wait till they are a year or two older for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and the other books.
As a funny side note, I found out Charles’ teacher has a copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban that he found at school. He started reading ahead because he was dying to know what happened next, so he has been reading ahead of us but then relistening at the spot where we left off as a family when we are all together. At first, I was like, “HEY, NO FAIR,” and then I realized that was literally the goal of all of this all along.
5) Dog Man… also known as leaning into books my son was interested in, even if they weren’t my favorite
Now, obviously, you are the parent, so you get to decide what your kid reads, but as long as they align with your morals and values, my opinion is… LET THEM READ IT!
My son got SO into Dog Man, and while some of the potty humor isn’t my favorite, the “fruit” of the books has been good.
He has so much fun reading them; thus, they have made reading an enjoyable experience. He voluntarily tells me about what he’s reading in them because he thinks it’s hilarious and too good not to share, and he even started drawing his own comics inspired by Dog Man. I think it’s safe to say a love of reading trumps any particular one book, no matter how good it is, and if Dog Man is the vehicle, so be it.
6) Not being afraid to DNF books that just aren’t working
Now listen, sometimes (like Harry Potter in our case), you gotta give it a minute to get into the story. But if no one is really enjoying it day after day, it’s time to either toss the book aside or try again another season.
Our DNFs include The Horse and His Boy (Narnia up to that point was great for my 5- and 8-year-old, but The Horse and His Boy reads like the King James Version of the Bible which is a hard sell for fun for littles, so we are shelving that one right now), The Hobbit, and, when we first tried the Magic Tree House books, he wasn’t into them! We tried again a year later when he was gifted a box set for Christmas from a friend, and now he’s a fan!
Reading at home should be for the joy of it, so if a book isn’t serving you and your kids right now and you’re kicking against the pricks, time to set it aside. I know this can be painful, but it’s worth the payoff of finding a book everyone WILL enjoy.
7) I don’t stop to explain everything or turn the reading into a quiz
At home, we are reading for the fun of it. They get enough quizzes at school. More on that in this post.
8) I model reading in front of my kids
I heard this beautiful quote by the famous cellist Steven Sharp Nelson the other day, and I think it applies to nurturing any kind of passion in our children.
He said, “My parents taught me to love music, not by teaching me, but by loving it so much in front of me, I couldn’t help but pick up on it.” So take some of the pressure off, friend! Maybe the best thing you can do is simply relax, pull up a book, and let your kids see you reading in front of them.
A mom whom I deeply respect and who has raised amazing kids who also happen to love to read told me, “Kids copy what they see their parents doing. We had to conscientiously put away our phones. Books came out in the evenings. When the kids were little, 6 PM was couch reading time while Mom was cooking dinner.” They would max out library book checkout limits, and they had a rule that for every hour of screen time, they would have an hour of fun reading.
Funny enough, I was at their house the other day, and one of the kids (who was 18) was complaining that her brother had been turning on the TV too often at night and that she preferred a quiet evening reading. I should mention these kids are well adjusted, well mannered, athletic, awesome kids that people love being around… I was blown away.
Well, friend, that’s all I have for you today!
I hope this helps if you’re feeling discouraged by a kid who won’t read or have a burning desire to help raise readers! There’s so much to try and experiment with, even for older children and teens, so take heart!
Let me know if you have ANY questions! We are in this together!
And if you liked this post, you are going to LOVE my read aloud routine! Get it here!
