The Read Aloud Routine that Became Family Magic
If entertaining your children makes you want to die, raise your hand 🙋♀️
It makes me cringe to admit it, but I don’t really enjoy playing with my kids.
Now listen, that doesn’t mean I’ve never found meaning or joy from playing with my children. But when the inevitable question “Mom will you play with me?” arrives, my initial reaction is pretty much never (as much as I wish it were) “heck yes, I would love to!” (Though to be fair to myself, I do say that occasionally. I’m not a total Scrooge).
A few summers ago, however, I found a routine that I genuinely love and that is incredibly bonding for me and my kids. It fosters growth, a love of learning, both light-hearted and sea-floor deep conversations.
It’s been so positive that I believe it will be a tradition my kids look back on with fondness and nostalgia when telling their own children about it some day. Heck, maybe they will even pass it on to their kids.
The routine and how it works
This ritual started off as me looking for a way to fill those long summer days with young kids and grasping for some kind of routine.
I would pile my kids into the car, head to the library, and checkout a STACK (and I mean a STACK) of books. One time the librarian looked at my pile of books and asked with a bemused expression if I homeschooled. “No, we just really like books,” I replied with an awkward smile.
Around lunchtime each day, I would read to the kids. Some days we only had time for a few books. Other days we would read like 7 or 11. In the words of Emma M. Lion, “I lie not.”
I loved using Jansen Bradshaw’s picture book lists for choosing books because it is so well rounded and her selections were often a hit with my kids. We found some really great books on there that are still their favorites. I still don’t get why they love The Night Tent by Landis Blair but they do.
I also started incorporating a scripture story, first from The Jesus Storybook Bible (which differs a little bit doctrinally from my religious beliefs but I can clarify what I need to, and overall the story is told beautifully), and after we finished that, I read from other kid versions of religious texts, such as Book of Mormon Stories, Doctrine and Covenants Stories, etc.
Along the way, I fell in love with Brooke Romney’s content and bought her adorable flip book, 52 Modern Manners for Kids and started reading a manner each day as well.
To sketch it out for you, here’s what the routine looked like in those early days:
1) Scripture story
2) Read 1 Manner (these were short)
3) 1-1000 picture books
The evolution of the reading routine
But then, I also wanted to expose my children to the French language. My husband and I both speak French and I really want them to have the blessing of learning a second language, especially while they are young and their brains pick it up more easily.
And so, as part of the routine, I started having them pick a word using these super fun illustrated French flashcards I bought before my oldest was even born. The kids LOVE them, they think it’s fun to choose a word and they have always enjoyed going through the pictures.
Of course when school started, we began to do a shorter version of our reading time routine at snack time right after the kids got home, and that also worked great. I am amazed at how even a micro dose of somewhat structured time together can give such huge returns.
In the summer, this routine has provided relationship deposits, flexible structure, and has been a great consistent connection point. During the school year, it helps transition from a busy school day into the warmth and coziness of being home and together, as well as prepare us for any evening chaos.
And listen, I don’t do this every. single. day. But I try to do it as much as possible because when I do it, my kid’s “attention from mom cups” are filled, and my cup is filled as well. And because of that, it’s much easier for me to handle dinner and other responsibilities because my kid’s emotional needs have been met proactively so the whining and nagging goes way down.
How the reading routine looks for us right now this second
As of writing this, my kids are 5 and 7 and this is our full routine for the summer, since we have more time than during the school year. It will likely be shortened a bit when school starts in the fall.
Scripture story for kids
Manner from 52 Modern Manners for Kids (1 page only)
French lesson from Homeschool Languages (I’m new to this, but loving it so far! They are play-based and so fun!) We do 1-2 of these a week, and supplement with flashcards on days we don’t do them. Again, I’m not homeschooling, but I love teaching them this beautiful language.
We read a book, usually a chapter book at this point but I’m not above picture books. Picture books are wonderful for all ages!
Here are the books we’ve read as part of this routine so far:
The Mercy Watson series by Kate DiCamillo: These are hilarious for kids and adults alike. They are a great intro to chapter books as the language is simple yet hilarious, and most pages are illustrated.
Mr. Popper’s Penguins by Richard Atwater : I loved this book as a kid and thought it would be a hit with my kids but it definitely was not. They found it dull and as an adult I did too sadly.
The Christmas Pigby JK Rowling: We all loved this book, beautiful themes of hope, loyalty, forgiveness, etc and the storytelling is masterful.
The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis: The prequel to The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe). I thought a lot of this might go over my 5 year old’s head, but she loved it and actually retained a lot.
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis: What can I say more? This is children’s lit at it’s apex. The kids got so into it once the Penseive children met Aslan.
The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis: this one has been a doozy. It has much more difficult language than the other Chronicles of Narnia thus far, but my kids keep begging me for one more chapter and it kind of blows my mind. However, I realized they just loved me reading to them and weren’t retaining a lot. Therefore we made the choice to put this on hold til they are a little older, or we might skip straight to Prince Caspian.
The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo: We just started this! It’s one of my favorites. The vocabulary is simpler so I don’t have to explain nearly as much as I did with The Chronicles of Narnia, but the story is so rich. My kids have been hooked from the get-go.
I’ve also been blown away at the real pride and excitement my kids get from going through a series like The Chronicles of Narnia. Everytime we finish a book, they are so excited to grab the next one.
How to make the reading routine actually work for your family in real life
Here are the ground rules for making this routine work for your family in your beautiful, messy, and real life.
1) Involve FOOD. I can not emphasize this enough. Or at a minimum give your kids something to do while you read. Let them color, knead play dough, build with Legos, etc. I do this around snack or lunch time and I either eat before the kids or after so I can read out loud while THEY eat.
2) Do the routine around a set time or activity so that there is a natural cue. Again, for me the cue is snack time or lunch time.
3) Understand that you WILL be interrupted more than you want to be. Some days you will be really annoyed. Try not to be, but set some ground rules if you need to. One that has worked well for my kids is that they have to wait til I get to the end of the page to ask a question, otherwise sometimes we barely get through a page of the book and I want to pull my hair out.
4) Make it work for you. You know your kids best. Some kids will eat this up, others might struggle. If you’ve kept their hands busy but it’s not working, shorten the routine, or end early that day. Be ready to be flexible. Some days the kids will be feeling it, and other days they won’t. Have some basics of what you want to get through (for me it’s at least a scripture story and a manner), but then decide what you can let go of if your kids aren’t vibing.
5) The most important goal of this reading routine is connection and positive experiences reading. When my kids are done, I might say okay let’s just finish this page, but overall I don’t push it too hard because I want it to be something they look forward to, not something they dread.
You know when you can actually tell that something is magical in real time and not just in retrospect? That’s how this reading routine is for me. I hope it can help you also connect with your kids in a meaningful way, spark great conversations, and bring you and your family JOY.
Much love!
Ash
